Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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