Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
