I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
