i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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