white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
