I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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