Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
