How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
