i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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