Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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