I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
