Michael Bay diarrhea
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
