just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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