sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Randomize
