thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
