I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
