someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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