I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
