Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
