he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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