I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
