honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
