You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
