just tell him i said nine months
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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