i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
