Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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