Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
