a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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