its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize