he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
