Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
