i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
