My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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