I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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