My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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