I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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