well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
