It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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