What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
