Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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