We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
it's like iHOP with fire
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
it's like heaven, but drunker
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
