He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
