I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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