Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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