woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
