Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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