So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
