you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize