i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
party gras won. party gras always wins.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
