You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
