i think my tv is drunk
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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