he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
