We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
