We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
