you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
the liver wants what the liver wants
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
